Today I did something that scared me.

Today I did something that scared me. 

I asked for a pay rise.

I’m 29 and I’ve worked most of my employed career as a service worker earning minimum wage, which I currently do, but today I asked for a raise.

I’d never even considered this until I went on a tinder date last month and over brunch he asked me why I’d never asked for a pay rise?

He was from a salaried engineer job but he insisted the logic same applied and he was right, compared to this time last year I have more skilled (I can drive and reverse vans), I am more efficient at what I do (checking out vehicles to customers, answering emails and calls, taking bookings), I have more responsibility (I open and close some shifts by myself, and I lock up when the manager leaves early) and I’m being paid the same as when I started (except for a rise in the minimum wage). I stated what I want to be paid, taking into account the minimum wage rise in April and we shall see.

It was scary, and I sat there contemplating if I should ask or not before I did, I knew I had a choice and two paths which would diverge from there: I would ask and I might get paid more, or not and that’s fine, or I would never ask and I would live knowing I had the chance and didn’t and I wouldn’t be ok with that, so I chose to ask. 

I start this year as I mean to go on, making small decisions which diverge my life path and taking steps which take me out of my comfort zone, and which potentially have unknowable consequences.

It’s interesting to reflect on the past year and see what decisions I made which have affected my life path.

I chose to leave a relationship which wasn’t making me happy. 

I chose to leave my B&B room to get food when I was visiting St Ives even though I would have been more comfortable to stay in, this might sound small and obvious but it was a big deal for me and it was a decision I had to make. 

I’ve made this decision to create a place for my writing, to write something, and to then share my writing with the world. 

I’ve made the decision to sell my art, this year I want to sell 12 paintings. 

I’m starting as I mean to go on, this is me leaving my bedroom and going out into the world to find something to eat.